Quarantine Chronicles: March
MARCH
My life these days feels a bit like the image above, minus the cat. I really wish I had a cat right now.
WEEK OF MARCH 9
I had just gotten back in town from celebrating my 30th birthday in Nashville. Little did I know that this was my last relatively “normal” weekend, one during which I attended two concerts, flew on a plane, ate at restaurants, hugged a friend, and danced in bars.
That week everyone at my company, which is located in midtown Manhattan, was still commuting to the office. You could feel the tension mounting. Coronavirus had slowly started spreading in the city, while other countries were beginning to go on full lockdown. It felt like a ticking time bomb as we waited for things to get worse. I was starting to get antsy about why my team wasn’t working from home, especially as writers, and I was doing my best to wash my hands frequently (and by that I mean obsessively) as well as avoid public transportation as much as you possibly can in a city as large as NYC. Sometime mid-week, our CEO (who only allows us to work from home four days a year) finally announced that we could work from home the following week. I could practically hear our entire open office sigh of relief.
FRIDAY, MARCH 13
I decided to begin working remotely a day early. I’m a little superstitious about Friday the 13th and on top of everything we had an all-staff meeting scheduled that day which entails joining the entire company in a tiny conference room to listen to updates from the CEO for a few hours. I had a really bad feeling about all of it, and my mom was begging me to stay home. It turns out that sometimes your gut is indeed trying to tell you something. We got an email the following week from our president informing us that an employee (who had attended that meeting) had tested positive for coronavirus.
SATURDAY, MARCH 14
A good friend’s birthday party was later that evening, and I spent the entire day debating whether or not to go. I was just itching to see friends and hang out with people for what I knew would be the last time in a while, but I was also terrified to be around anyone. At this point in time, no one had really started social distancing yet, and so I gave in like I knew I would. Stores were still open, and restaurants and bars in our popular Brooklyn neighborhood were bustling.
I spent a good portion of the party outside on my friend’s terrace freezing, but at least breathing fresh air. I felt pretty guilty about attending, worrying that we had surely caught the virus, but in the end, we can’t regret the choices we make - can we? In the end, it was really nice to spend some time with everyone.
WEEK OF MARCH 16
The “quarantine” began, as did the first official week of working from home. The week was difficult, and I had a hard time focusing and motivating myself. I’m not great at staying at home all the time, so my mood swung up and down drastically. I tried running outside a bit, and we cooked a lot - making homemade pizza dough, brownies, pea soup, boeuf bourguignon, and a variety of other recipes I’m usually too lazy to make. All NYC restaurants and bars closed at the onset of the week, and non-essential businesses by the end of it. Our neighborhood essentially shut down as everyone was asked to work from home or close their business, except for grocery stores, pharmacies, laundromats, liquor stores, etc. That week Jean and I ordered a huge case of wine, along with a nice quantity of cheese and ham. We both worried a lot about our parents, and what was happening in the world, but tried our best to stay positive and make the best of it.
WEEKEND OF MARCH 20
We had a “date night,” which is pretty hard to do when you can’t leave the house, but we did order great Thai food and make some pretty fabulous cocktails that ended up on TikTok, my most recent app download. I also resorted to taking evening baths as “me time,” sometimes even for hours. We have this amazing little tray that you can use in the tub that is just enough for a computer to sit on… it’s life-changing.
On both Saturday and Sunday, Jean and I hit the road to go hiking. We found trails an hour outside of NYC, where we ran into fewer people than we do crossing the street in Greenpoint. The weather was wonderful, and walking outside made us feel a bit more like our normal selves. On our drive back to the city we debated stopping by an animal shelter to pick up a dog (or a cat… I wasn’t kidding when I said I really wish I had a cat, except Jean won’t let me get one). Unfortunately, all the shelters were closed and halted our spontaneous decision-making in its tracks.
Other weekend highlights? At some point, I purchased a lifetime subscription to Rosetta Stone, and I took one class for about 30 minutes while Jean FaceTimed with friends.
WEEK OF MARCH 23
The days really started blurring together, and the rainy weather made my concentration diminish as my mood spiraled downward. I made Carolina pulled pork for the first time in my life (and homemade bbq sauce), accompanied by banana bread. Jean made beef jerky. I knew I wasn’t eating as well as I should be, and I was allowing myself one too many glasses of wine during the workweek, but I just didn’t care. I was working in pajamas, and not feeling too great about my appearance.
During the week we went out to get groceries in masks and gloves for the first time since all of this had started, and were surprised to see others doing the same. However, no one seemed to respect their distance, which was frustrating and concerning. Why weren’t the grocery stores limiting the number of people entering? We also went on a run during the week and came across the same issue - there were just too many people out on the streets and not nearly enough of them respecting the 6-foot social distance rule. It begged the question: why wasn’t NYC doing more to curb the spread of the virus? I was enjoying taking walks outside but I knew the number of people wandering around needed to be limited sooner than later. Instead of focusing on getting enough medical supplies for our hospitals (which we should do, of course), shouldn’t we ALSO be forcing people to stay inside and stop being stupid?
On Monday night we took a virtual yoga class, which was nice, and I kept up with my baths. Chatting with friends around the globe and colleagues made me feel better about everything going on. I wasn’t alone in this. During the week I kept wanting to make progress on our upcoming wedding in October but was having a difficult time thinking about it. Our wedding planner wasn’t really responding to us, and I didn’t feel inspired to work on our website or invitations without knowing how things were going to evolve… Jean’s bachelor party in May had already been canceled, while mine was still set for July. It felt like nothing was under control, and there was nothing I could plan or do.
I was also starting to have some trouble working together in such tight quarters. I imagine it would really suck to be alone during quarantine, but working with your partner in the same room (especially when you have completely different jobs) is not an easy adjustment. I had the constant urge to be doing something other than work, like wash the dishes or organize around the house. I was still adjusting to this new lifestyle, and sometimes wished we could escape to a big house upstate and outside of this concrete jungle, but I was grateful nevertheless for our jobs, our home, and most importantly: our health.
On Thursday afternoon I actually received an unexpected email from our CEO, telling us to prepare for “painful” decisions to come the following week. Naturally, I panicked. Was I going to lose my job? I consulted my team, and everyone seemed to have similar fears. It sent me down a rabbit hole, and I began worrying about finances - my student debt, the upcoming wedding, etc. It felt like everyone around me was concerned about their stocks and investments plummeting, and I just couldn’t relate. I tried to remind myself how money isn’t the only thing that matters, and health really is paramount, but it’s hard to curb anxiety sometimes.
In fact, the entire quarantine was starting to feel like an anxiety roller coaster. If I wasn’t terrified that our parents would get sick, I was scared to get sick myself. If I wasn’t worried about losing my job, I was worried about everyone who had already lost their job and the looming depression. I felt so SAD about what was happening in this world. Reading the news only made things worse, but I couldn’t help checking it as cases in the United States surpassed those anywhere else in the world. How could this have happened? Why hadn’t we acted sooner? I started rethinking my priorities and struggled to control my anger. I reminded myself that I couldn’t control any of this except my emotions and just had to ride it out like everyone else. And that was the start to my weekend, a mental battle with myself. I couldn’t wait until 5 pm rolled around, and I could have a cocktail and maybe put up a YouTube video of the beach.
WEEKEND OF MARCH 28
Enjoying a Friday evening beer from our Brooklyn rooftop.
The weekend started off with a bike ride on Friday afternoon. The spring weather was too beautiful for us to resist, and we figured that by biking we would be able to keep our distance from others. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones with this idea. Brooklyn was flooded with runners, bikers, and children jumping around. There were adults playing tennis and basketball while others exercised together and some sat scattered about in parks. It felt like any other lovely Friday evening, except this one was dampened with a dark reality: the NYC coronavirus curve wasn’t going to flatten out anytime soon. Realizing that the bike ride was more stressful than pleasurable, we rushed home to watch the sunset from our building’s rooftop. By that point, I needed a beer to calm myself down, and we spent the rest of the night relaxing at home. We ordered sushi and watched a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up on Saturday morning to pouring rain and a pounding headache. Jean and I ventured outside to get fresh bread, only to find the local shop had closed (despite calling in advance and confirming that it was open). We ended up getting a few groceries instead, which was just as terrifying as it had been the week prior. How had people not yet understood that we need to respect personal space during the outbreak? I couldn’t believe how careless shoppers (and employees) could be.
When we returned home I opened a gift that a family friend had sent me. It was Monopoly, and not only that, it was the Monopoly I used to play when I was a little girl. The gift, along with the sentimental card, sent me down memory lane and I was flooded with nostalgia. I spent the better half of the morning crying, staring out at the rain. The rest of the day was a flop. With the weather absolutely dreadful, I felt no motivation to do anything and so I streamed one of my favorite movies, Pride & Prejudice, while finally working on our wedding website. The headache never really went away, so Jean made us carbonara for dinner and I kept working on our website which gave me something positive to think about.
Sunday’s weather hadn’t improved. The day sort of flew by with both of us on the phone. Jean made ratatouille, and I made a white bean soup and chocolate chip cookies. I spent the better half of the day streaming Love is Blind, which is quite possibly the stupidest show I’ve ever seen (I really don’t like reality TV) but somehow diverting during these crazy times. When the evening rolled around we watched the live iHeart concert and then Westworld. Overall, the weekend wasn’t too bad. Although it was one of the laziest weekends I’ve had in a very long time, I guess we sometimes need to get 11.5 hours of sleep and spend the day in pajamas.